Why Men Need to Talk

Why does it take so many men 30, 40, even 50 years to talk about being sexually abused as children? In this episode of You're Not Alone, the 1in6 podcast, hosts Anthony Edwards and co-host Beau Friedlander sit down with David Lisak, clinical psychologist, longtime researcher on trauma, founder of 1in6, and a survivor himself.

David has spent his career studying men who suffered childhood sexual abuse, beginning in the 1980s when, as he describes it, there was "basically nothing" published on the subject. He explains how stigma and the unspoken "rules of masculinity" teach boys that they must never be vulnerable, and how that makes disclosing abuse feel impossible. He speaks candidly about how trauma can go "subterranean" through dissociation, sharing the moment his own buried memories returned during a session with his therapist, and how connection is the antidote to the isolation so many male survivors carry.

The heart of the conversation is the Bristlecone Project, born, David says, from a dream. Named for the bristlecone pine, one of the oldest living organisms on the planet, surviving and thriving in the harshest conditions, the project pairs survivors' full-name portraits with their stories so that others can "look us in the eye."

This episode is about male sexual abuse recovery and healing from childhood trauma, and the throughline that no recovery happens without that first conversation. As Beau puts it, men "want men to start speaking, but be careful, because when they start, they don't stop."

In this episode:

• Why male survivors of childhood sexual abuse stay silent for decades
• Stigma, masculinity, and the violation of being made vulnerable
• Dissociation and buried trauma, and how memories can resurface
• Grooming, re-victimization, and "reactive abuse" among children
• The origin and meaning of the Bristlecone Project
• Why connection, men talking honestly to men, is where recovery starts

If you've never told anyone, this episode is for you.

#MaleSurvivors #YoureNotAlone #1in6

You are not alone. 1 in 6 men have had an unwanted or abusive sexual experience. Free, confidential support is available 24/7 through the 1in6 Helpline and online support groups at 1in6.org.